NO, I’M NOT BABYSITTING MY OWN KIDS

If you’re a dad, you’ve inevitably heard one of the following while out doing something with your kids:

• “Aww, it must be daddy’s turn!”

• “Are you babysitting?”

• “Mom must be taking the day off!”

• “You have your hands full today!”

Or, if you’re gay dads, you’ve most definitely heard, “that’s so sweet of you guys to give your wives a break for the day!”

As a gay dad myself, I’ve heard all of these and more. The first couple of times, I brushed it off, but it becomes a never-ending loop of women making the mistake of assuming that dads just aren’t involved in their children’s lives. Whether or not that’s true (it might just be), I’m tired of responding with one of the following:

• “Yeah, it’s daddy’s turn every day.”

• “No, I’m not babysitting my own kids!”

• “Actually, they have two dads.”

• They’re both four years old. I have my hands full every day.”

Not only does it get annoying to remind strangers that parents aren’t babysitters, especially dads, but you’re reinforcing a heteronormative narrative that only women care for children.

Next time you’re out shopping and notice a guy or two guys with kids, stop and think before you say something. Not only does it get annoying to remind strangers that parents aren’t babysitters, especially dads, but you’re reinforcing a heteronormative narrative that only women care for children.

Most gay dads would instead you assume that we’re just that, gay dads out shopping with our kids.